Soften your biases and invite values.
Max, a fourth grader, is standing in the principal’s office with his head down. He just hit a classmate in the face. He knows the drill.
But who is to blame? Is Max the one to blame? Did he fail us, or did we fail him? This is the fourth time in as many weeks he has erupted.
Instead of Max, should we blame his elder brother, Johnny, a seventh grader, who tied him up last night and beat him with a stick? But Johnny was only passing the buck for the frequent spankings he gets from his mother, Joanne. She gave birth to Johnny a few months before she turned nineteen, and she never again went to college.
Perhaps Joanne isn’t the one to blame, either. Her family disowned her after she ran away with Rick. Now with three kids, she has to endure Rick’s daily rants after he gets drunk. He has thrown her off the bed twice in the last month while spewing curse words. But Rick has his own reasons. When he was two, his mother abandoned him to the care of her husband, who was coping with PTSD, which he eventually took out on Rick.
We could keep climbing generations to find where it all started and how the vitriol of toxic emotions and hurts got passed around. I don’t know whom to fault—perhaps nobody, perhaps everybody. But no matter the fault, it is up to us to look for answers.
Wherever you are right now, consider yourself a source of energy. What is the nature of the energy you are giving out, right at this moment? Are you mostly lost in thought and not giving much? Are you processing irritation, anger, and hurt? Or are you making an active effort to radiate loving energy, with kind and well-meaning thoughts, words, and actions? The energy you emanate starts a chain reaction. You get to choose the kind of reaction you start.
Instead of harshly judging others, if you choose to give out the energy of gratitude and compassion today in your microcosm, others will get it. With the change in you, you might eventually change the future for Max, Johnny, and countless others, even those who seem distant and disconnected.
The world desperately needs your loving energy. Little Max surely does, because one day he will have Max Juniors, and we don’t want them standing in the principal’s office with their head low.
It’s up to us and nobody else.
May you never be harsh in judging others; may you never be judged harshly.
@AmitSoodMD (on Twitter)
Question: How can you change the world?
Answer: You can change the world by changing the energy you send to the world.
Intention: This week I will send positive intention and energy to others.