During this week you’ll develop a more mature sense of self and nurture healthier desires so you seek, not out of greed, but for what you truly need and deserve.
Secure sense of self
Your self-worth is the intrinsic value you assign to yourself. You can’t estimate your self-worth by comparing yourself with others. It has little to do with your accomplishments or the value that society places on you or your work. Your precise self-worth actually cannot be measured, since it is priceless. You can get the best estimate by asking a person who loves you unconditionally how much they value you. The answer would likely be trillions of dollars, if not more.
Don’t use this realization to become haughty and arrogant. Instead, understand that you don’t have to prove yourself to anybody; you are intrinsically priceless, and it’s just fine to be humble and live a life serving a prosocial meaning, however simple that meaning might be.
We, however, don’t live with these thoughts. We let inappropriate evaluation of the self—both by us and others—define our self-worth.
We often value ourselves based on the outcomes of our actions, not our intentions or efforts. Since the outcomes are unpredictable and context dependent, our self-perception isn’t anchored and strong. It changes day by day, in step with our latest failure or success.
Others value us based on their ideals, the part of us they see, and their perception of how much we value them. Further, people are often better at critiquing than complimenting. The web gets even more complex when we receive mixed feedback from different people, sometimes with the same person changing his or her opinion in short order.
Do you see how your self-worth could be forever shifting, affecting your mood, the way you treat others, and your productivity?
I have learned the following lessons:
• I should remember that I am priceless, just like everyone else is.
• If I have to judge myself, I should look at my intentions and efforts and not at the outcome or dollar rewards.
• I should use every bit of well-meaning feedback (positive or negative) to become a better person.
• I should be liberal in providing well-deserved positive feedback to others.
Perhaps with this approach I will have a more secure sense of self, which might prompt me to help others feel the same. The world will transform when all of us wake up in the morning and tell our reflection in the mirror, “You are a good human being; you are priceless.” Live your day remembering this fact and help others feel the same.
May you remind others that they are priceless; may others remind you that you are priceless.
@AmitSoodMD (on Twitter)
Question: What is a better way to judge the self?
Answer: Judge yourself based on your intentions and not on the outcome of your actions.
Intention: This week I will look at myself with the eyes of the person who loves me the most.